38 Weeks and Going

38 weeks today. Bean is officially due in two weeks, though she is a week “full term” now. Her head has dropped into position into my pelvic area, so really, it could be any day. Or a few weeks. Heh. Mother Nature has a good sense of humor.

My pelvic area is still on fire, but I think I’m getting more used to it now, as I’m whining less and sometimes I don’t even feel it as much as I used to. Sleeping is still a little hard, mostly because my legs go numb after a while and changing positions from side to side prove to be a little more difficult than normal — big tummy in the way, and the pelvic bone REALLY HURTS when I move.

My back is very, very sore. Mid to lower back. It aches a lot. Nothing I do relieves it. I think I might try a hot bath tonight, but the thought of getting a bath ready and all that makes me tired. Does that make any sense?

My hormones are out of control. I cry a lot and I obsess over weird little things, like getting the curtains up in Bean’s room. We’re almost there, and I have to learn to be patient with Dave. I think he does this on purpose — put things off just to teach me to be more patient. I think I was a lot more patient pre-pregnancy. Nesting is serious business. I can’t imagine being this way all my life. It’s just hard to obsess over little things 24/7. Sometimes I feel like I can’t relax. The house is normally spotless. The laundry is always done. The floors are always vacuumed. There are almost no dishes in the sink anymore. Everything’s organized and ready for Bean. Just the curtains. The curtains. THE CURTAINS!! It’s driving me insane. I dream about curtains. I dream about curtain rods. This nesting business is out of control.

I’ve packed for Bean’s visit at the hospital. I’ve packed (mostly, 90%) for myself for the hospital. Both bags are ready. Just little things that I will have to remember last minute, like the camera and the phone charger. I suppose Dave can always come back for them, since we’re 5 minutes from the hospital, so I’m not going to stress over it. I have to remember to put a book and some CDs in my bag, but really, I don’t imagine I will want to read while going through labor. And then afterwards, I don’t see myself wanting to read while crooning over a newborn baby. So maybe not the book, but maybe some relaxing CDs for when labor happens.

Have had a couple of false contractions. I’m guessing they’re Braxton Hicks, since they come and then they go, and they don’t get repeated. Bean’s movements are so aggressive now. I feel her from all ends of the uterus. She’s really stretching out. I’d feel crazy “popping” sensations when she kicks and uses her fists against me. I feel her head on my bladder. I feel her turning over. I feel her bum sticking out (as I type this too!). It feels like she never sleeps! I don’t know what she’s doing in there — probably building a bridge. Or if she’s anything like her father, probably having some crazy ideas on how to take over the world, or build some sort of recycling self-energized machine that would end world hunger or something. Whatever she’s doing in there, I am enjoying all the harsh kicks, even if sometimes they hurt like heck. And they make me go pee about once every 45 minutes. At least.

Must pee now.

37 Week Movements!

37-Week Letter

Dearest Baby,

Today you are 37 weeks along, which means you are technically full-term now. You can be poppin’ out any time and all will be well. We are praying and visualizing “happy and healthy,” the most important two words that can and will accompany you for the rest of your life. Everything else is just icing on the cake. You will be here with us, happy and healthy. You will have various particular genes and details about you, but you are ultimately happy and healthy. Happy and healthy, you will be. And we will be so proud to hold you in our arms. In fact, everyone will be holding you in their arms. You are so impatiently waited for, it is amazing how much you are already loved. You have so many aunts and uncles who are just dying to get their loving arms around you. And cousins who are anxious to play with you. And teachers who are anxious to teach you. And lovers who are anxious to love you. And friends who are anxious to befriend you.

At 37 weeks along, your Mama is aching. Her pelvic area is on fire, getting ready to deliver you. You and I, Baby, we’re a team, aren’t we? We’re gonna go through delivery as smooth as … well, anything that’s really really smooth. We’re gonna fly through it together, patient and calm and wonderful and beautiful. It’ll hurt, I don’t deny it, and I don’t look forward to that, but I am so anxious to go through this experience with you, and I know I will never forget it. Happy and healthy, that is our goal, baby.

At 37 weeks along, your Mama can barely walk straight. I look down and I no longer see my feet — which, by the way, are swollen. There are many things that people have not told me, or rather, perhaps it is that I was not listening fully when they tried. Such things include: pelvic pains and “round ligament pains” are incredibly painful and achy. My skin has odd discoloration break-outs in odd places, like on my neck and face. I’m breaking out with acne at every given chance, no matter how much water I drink or how many fruits and veggies I consume. And, most of all, the unexpected stretch marks towards the tops of my bum area. I didn’t see that coming at all, having put lots and lots of cream on my belly and sides. I didn’t realize you also stretch out my bum. Go figure, eh?

Oh, but baby oh baby, all these pains are so worth it, as long as I can get to hold a happy and healthy little baby bean in my arms when you make your debut.

Speaking of which, would you like to give me a hint as to when you want to do that? We’re almost done with your room — just got one more shelf to put together (your daddy has been very good, even though I have been very impatient and my nesting abilities have become more or less of a superpower). He will teach you well the meaning of “patience.” I, on the other hand, will teach you the meaning of “doing it now so you don’t have to worry about it later.” Heh. You will get your pick on how you want to function in this world. Perhaps somewhere in the middle would be most sufficient for you.

Oh baby, oh baby, how we are all looking forward to you. I can’t wait to see what color your eyes are, and what color your hair is, and whether or not you have inherited my flat Asian nose or your daddy’s taller European nose. I can’t wait to kiss your little fingers and your little toes. I even can’t wait to change your stinky diapers! Everything is almost set up for you. We have all your newborn clothes in one drawer (boy are they ever so cute! I can’t believe you will be that small). We have all your stuffed animals ready for you on the shelf. We have your super-special hypo-allergenic, organically-made mattress all made up for you. We have origami butterflies floating all over your bedroom walls, promising colors and happiness in your life. We have the rocking chair by which to rock and sing and read you to sleep on nights when you are fussy and agitated. We have baby books for you to learn your colors and numbers and animals. We have all sorts of diapers — from cloth to pampers to biodegradable flushables. We even have a toy chest that your Nana (your daddy’s mother) made for you. Oh baby, oh baby, we’re so excited to meet you!

It is nothing short of preparing for a really important first date. I have questions booming in my mind that are rather silly but kinda cute: will you like me? Omg, what will I wear on the first day I meet you? What will YOU be wearing? Will we hit it off right away? Will you recognize me? Will you recognize your daddy?

Whatever the answers to these questions are, one thing is for certain: I am already in love with you, and I know I will fall deeper in love with you when I see you and hold you.

Now, if you please, spare my ribs and pancreas and lungs as much as you can. You can have my bladder – I’m used to peeing 30 times a day by now, but I kind of need my ribs and lungs and pancreas, darling.

I love you and can’t wait to see you!

Your Mommy

Baby Bean’s Birth Survey

Baby Shower 1

Last Saturday, Jenbug, Martha, and Sieneke planned and arranged for our shower. It was so awesome — it was held at Sieneke’s house (she’s one of my favorite social workers at work), and about 12 people altogether came. It was a nice, small shower and I was so overwhelmed with love that people came. It doesn’t take very much to please me. Heh. I’m always so overwhelmed and surprised with love when people do nice things for me. Even just showing up meant so much to me. It was very nice. We played a few games, too, and they were very fun. One of them was to guess how big my belly was by cutting a length of string. Guess who won? Dave. He guessed EXACTLY on the spot. It was really weird. Heh.

The shower favors — so cute!

All the shower gifts… I looove the colors!

My best friend, Jen. She and 2 others (Martha and Sieneke)
planned and arranged the whole thing.

Me and Dave. Can you see the crazy big belly? Heh.

Us opening gifts.

Us opening gifts again.