Dear Baby Bean

Dear Baby Bean,

There is much hope for you. Ever since the day we found out you existed (November 6, 2007), we have been making preparations and have been completely overjoyed at your upcoming debut to this world. There is so much I want to tell you, show you, teach you. There is so much hope for me as your mother. I am terrified and excited at the same time. There is nothing I want more than to show you how much this world is capable of loving you, and you it in return. I want you to know that you are with me always (quite literally right now, in fact!), and I want you to feel the love that I am consciously bringing into my uterus, to help you grow healthy and strong until the day you are born and when I can finally hold you in my arms.

I have many fears, Baby. I have fears that I won”t be adequate for you, and yet at the same time, the foundation of motherhood that I will be using as a crutch is love. I will base all of my decisions in raising you through love. I will show you, tell you, whisper to you at night, sing to you, how much I love you. Never will there be a day where my love stops for you, and I can only expect at this point, given much evidence in just these short 11 and a half weeks of your existence, that this love will continue to grow exponentially. You are so powerful, my lovely little baby. You are so powerful and strong and your whole body is filled with the love that was made to create you.

I will try my best to do right by you, Baby Bean. No matter what you become, who you become, what job you get, what school or profession you decide to get into, what choices you make, just always know that I will always love you and support you in whatever way I know how. I will do my best, my very utmost best, to protect you, and still set you free. I will make a lot of mistakes along the way, and I hope they don’t scar you or scare you too much, but in the end, please know that everything I do from now on is because I love you. Everything I do is because of you. You are my heart personified. You are my steady growth of love. You are the very reason, the very proof, that this world is beautiful. It hardly deserves such a beautiful creature as yourself, but believe me, I will do my darndest, work my hardest, to make this world a better place so that you will have the best chances of happiness in it. Because you are mine, and you deserve nothing less of that.

Daddy and I — we await anxiously your arrival date. We don’t care whether you are a boy or a girl, whether you are big or small, whether you are brown or white or pink. We will love you just the same. We have these long talks between us about how to raise you, what to show you, how we want to give you the freedom of choice and religion through the power of our love and acceptance. We want so much for you — all of our love is compounded into your tiny beating heart. You can do anything, you can be anyone, you can go anywhere, our darling lovechild, and you always know, for sure, that there at least two people on this earth who would bend over backwards to see you happy, who would tilt the world just so if it would help you grow and live and love to your fullest capacity. We are here for you, and we will never stop being here for you. You have brought so much joy in the very first few weeks of your itty bitty existence that it makes my heart ache and my skin tingle at just the very anticipation of holding you in my arms. I only hope that I don”t collapse from pure happiness.

Awaiting your beautiful arrival,
Your Mommy. :)