Sooo many different updates to make. I hardly have any time anymore. We are making quick and last-minute preparations for our California trip in a week’s time. I’m so excited, but I’m also a little bit stressed out. Oi!

Anyway, the latest milestone for our Lily is that she can walk. She’s been taking more and more steps, and now she’s just going for it! She still prefers to hold our hand, but she’s doing less and less of that as the hours go by!

To my husband, and Lily’s father, happy father’s day! We love you, and Lily wants to say:

“Dear Dad-Buoy, thank you for taking care of me so well and changing my stinky diapers. Especially while Mom-Mom is at work. I love you! P.S. ddddkdjj;;”

As some of our last posts suggested, we’ve been having sleep issues with Miss Lily Bean here. Since she was 5 weeks old, she started sleeping through the night, but as luck would have it, that didn’t always last. Until she became mobile, she was doing awesome, sleeping on her own, falling asleep on her own, and sleeping through the night. So, we had to rethink our strategy completely, and I think we now found what has worked for us.

Dave and I differed quite a bit regarding how we “sleep train” her. Being the loving, protective father that he is, he didn’t want to try any method that would mean she would cry. Me, being a little more firm, didn’t mind it so much, as I didn’t mind seeing her a little frustrated. I think it would teach her to be a little more secure and independent. So, after many, many, maaannyyy hours of long discussions with Dave, he finally agreed to a plan that included some crying, just to break her out of that “cuddle to sleep” mode that she was in with us. Sometimes, it would take me as much as two hours to get her to sleep, and other times, she’d wake up in the middle of the night and wouldn’t go back to sleep for about another two hours… all of which I would have to cuddle her and keep her company and convince her that indeed, it is not play time, it is sleep time. I was getting tired of this cycle.

First night we tried the plan where we would keep her in the crib “no matter what,” periodically coming in to comfort her and let her know we’re still around and not abandoning her. She did not do so well. She immediately started whining when we left the room, and when we didn’t come back right away (as we often did before), she upped the ante and started screaming blue murder. We came in after waiting it out a bit, comforted her, and then walked out again. She freaked out again, wondering why we weren’t picking her up immediately and rocking her to sleep. 45 minutes later of this, she was crying so hard and so intensely that she actually made herself throw up.

Dave was really angry with me. He didn’t want to do this plan anymore. I insisted that this is part of her learning, and that she’s just seeing how far she needs to go in order to get us to come to her rescue. I told him this wouldn’t happen again, and I made that promise. He said he wouldn’t do the plan with me, but that if I wanted to do it again, I would have to do it alone without his support.

So I mustered my courage up, and did it again two nights later. I did her whole bedtime routine — bath, reading, feeding, lights out — and then I cuddled her for a little bit in her rocking chair in her room, in the dark. I told her:

“My Lily, I love you… you’re going to go to bed now. Mommy’s going to lay you down in your bed so you can go to sleep. I will see you in the morning. You can do it. It’s bed time…”

I said this over and over again, about 3 or 4 times. By that time, she was relaxed and tired, but still awake. Then I got up, gave her the bunny/lovey, and popped a binky in her mouth, and laid her down, said goodnight, and walked out. She didn’t cry at first. Waited about 5 minutes, and then started crying. I waited about a minute, and then walked in to comfort her verbally, still leaving her in her crib. I put the binky back in her mouth, laid her down, said the same things I said to her while we were cuddling, and then walked out. She cried and cried and cried. However, she only did it for 20 minutes this second night. I stood outside her door, my heart completely ripped out of my chest and I was near tears. But just as I was ready to come back in again, suddenly the crying stopped. Completely. I went in to our bedroom to check out the video monitor, to see what she was doing. She had laid herself back down, and playing with her binky (not in her mouth). She started waving her leg back and forth, and within a minute or two, she was sound asleep.

She had put herself to sleep!! All on her own!!

There was no throwing up, no hysterical crying (didn’t get to that stage, fortunately). And it only took 20 minutes.

Next day, Dave put her down for both naps since I had to work. He said he put her down awake yet drowsy, and she didn’t cry for him. She was used to him doing that though. The bedtime routines were the issue, not the naps. So that night, I did the same thing again, and she cried for 10 minutes. Though out of those 10 minutes, only maybe 2 minutes were really hard crying. The rest were sort of whimper cries. I came in about 3 times, comforted her verbally and then walked out. I stood outside her door. The crying suddenly stopped, and she put herself to sleep.

Third night, there was no crying. She put herself to sleep within 10 minutes.

This was a week ago, exactly. Throughout the whole week, all her naps and her bedtimes looked like this. They went so smoothly. Sometimes, it’d take her a little over 10 minutes to fall asleep, but she never cries anymore. Sometimes she loses her binky and cries out for us to get it for her, but once we do, she’d lay back down and wouldn’t fuss when we walked out again.

She has been waking up less in the middle of the night. She is still regularly waking up at least once, but very sleepily so — never that wide-awake event anymore. And I would just put the binky back in her mouth, give her a kiss, lay her back down, without a word, and walk out the door. Within seconds, she’s back asleep. Sometimes even before I reach the door.

Over the week, I noticed that even when she does wake up in the middle of the night, very rarely does she even open her eyes. I would hear some whimpering and near-cries, and when I go check on her, her eyes are still closed, she’s still lying down, but she looks like she’s going to wake up. I would just pop the binky back in her mouth and walk out. She hardly even noticed I was even in the room.

The first few nights, since she was getting so much sleep at night, and sleeping through the night again, she was waking up earlier. She’d go down by 7:45p, and wake up at 6a or 6:30a. This was not cool. So when she did this, I would come in, and see her wide awake and laughing and giggling and having a ball, as if saying, “GOOD MORNING, MAMA!!!” I’d lay her down, tell her, “It’s not time to wake up yet, honey… go back to sleep.” And then I’d walk out. At first, she was very confused, but she did not cry out. She’d try to put herself back to sleep, and when she couldn’t, she’d just play in her crib, wait around until 7a for me to come get her. What a trooper!

Now, she’s sleeping until 7a again, sometimes even to 7:30a. So she’s getting near 12 hours of sleep per night, which is perfect. She has her two naps per day back, both adding up to about 3 hours altogether. She’s happy, well-rested, and cheery all day long, and she eats so well too.

It’s also cute that I see a change in the relationship between her and her bed. In the mornings, she’d crawl happily around her bed, and wouldn’t let me pick her up. It was like she was showing off how happy she is to be able to fall asleep on her own, and telling me, “Look, Mama, this is my bed! I have so much fun in here! I love it!” It’s a great feeling to see how proud she is of herself.

Throughout all this, I’ve been getting a LOT of encouragement and consultation and words of wisdom and kindness from Kendra, my new friend (and our photographer), as well as my sister-in-law, who does the same method with her kids. Now that we’re all getting enough sleep again, and we’re all happy again, and Dave isn’t mad and he’s proud of both of us again, and we’re all doing the same things again, it’s such a relief. I’m glad I stuck it through, and I knew our Lily Bean could do it. She wakes up to gives me hugs and kisses, and sometimes wouldn’t let me go. I know there is absolutely no resentment from her towards me, and I know she appreciates that I am teaching her confidence. Plus, this gives me and Dave some extra couple time with each other, after I put her down for bedtime. We’re so much more relaxed. I love it.

So, if you have any doubts that this works, just take my word for it. After confusing the heck out of our little girl with different methods and plans month after month, it only took less than 3 days for her to learn this. If she can do it, your baby can, too. And as an appreciation, she gives me MORE cuddles during her waking times than she used to before!

That first morning after she learned how to fall asleep on her own. Look how happy she is!

I love our baby girl.

Lily is growing so fast, I don’t even know where to begin to announce all the changes going on with her. But I shall try anyway.

We’re trying to teach her “all done” in sign language, since she’s darn loud!

And, as mentioned in an earlier post, here’s a video of Lily giving kisses.

I’ve been up since 2:30a, thanks to Miss Lily Bean. I’m exhausted. Time to get ready for work. Oi.

Well, our Lily Bean is 10 months old now. Time goes so fast, and I can’t believe that it seemed only like yesterday when I gave birth to her, when we brought her home from the hospital, when she had her days and nights mixed up. Oh, Lily girl, you’re growing too fast for us sometimes.

Some updates on how our baby girl is doing, before I forget and before the time catches up with me and she’s already 5 years old. Heh.

• Our Lily Bean can stand on her own now, more and more. She really surprises herself when she does it. She’ll let go of our hands, or of the object she was leaning on, and suddenly she’s standing up by herself. Then she’d look down, and see the ground, and her little legs start shaking nervously, and she lets out a little alarmed yelp, and looks for our hands again, to steady her again. TOTALLY cute.
• As mentioned before, she knows how to give kisses, and now hugs. She gives Mommy mostly kisses, and Daddy mostly hugs. She also knows what “soft” means. I’ve been teaching her by letting her feel “soft” things next to her face, so now whenever I ask her, “Is this soft, Lily?” she’ll take the object I’m asking about and put it close to her face and nuzzle against it, as if to test out if it’s soft.
• Over the last week or so, she’s been perfecting different positions to get in and out of. Most notably, recently, she’s learned how to go from sitting to crawling and back to sitting. That last part was a big one for her. She also knows how to play while kneeled down on her knees.
• No teeth yet. Wow, it’s taking a while! But my mom said I didn’t have teeth till I was about 10 months, and Sylvia said the same about Dave, so I guess it’s normal for her to get it late too?
• Big issue #1: sleep. We’ve been doing Dave’s plan for about two weeks now, and the first week or so was difficult. First, Dave was able to get her down faster and sooner and less painful, but Lily wasn’t associating that with me. We also had to get her to the living room to calm her down before she was able to relax enough to fall asleep in our arms. Then we’d transfer her to her crib. First week and a half or so, she was waking up several times a night due to this new bedtime routine. I have to admit, bedtime gave me a bit of anxiety because I never knew how long it would take, or how grumpy she would be, or how fidgety, or how much she’d fight it. Then, as if magically, over the last 3 or 4 days, she started going down for me easier. Granted, still in my arms, while I rocked her, but I stopped bringing her out to the living room, and she’s again associated her bedroom with the lights off as “sleep” instead of “AH I wanna fight it!”Big thing now, though, is trying to get her down wide awake so she can fall asleep on her own. We’re debating whether or not to try my plan out this upcoming long weekend, since Dave’s plan is gradually working. We’re putting her down more awake each other, and she’s less fussy and she’s fighting it less, so there may not be a need to go to my plan. She’s starting to sleep through the night again, with minimal wakings, and her wakings are generally very mild and she just needs a binky (as she did before). First week or so of Dave’s plan was a bit hellish, since she was waking up several times a night and sometimes wouldn’t fall asleep for an hour or more. However, it’s hard to say if this was due to Dave’s plan or due to something entirely different, since she’s such a sensitive little baby when it comes to sleep, anyway.

  So, we shall see, I suppose.

  
  This is how Lily was sleeping when I came in at 7a this morning.

  We also got a video monitor finally, and we love watching her while she’s in the crib. So cute.

  
• Big issue #2: eating. We’re doing Baby-Led Weaning for her meal times. Meaning, we offer her all sorts of wonderful, colorful, healthy foods, and she can decide during each meal what she wants to eat, how much of it, and learn on her own time how to get them into her mouth. She’s got the pincher grasp down pretty well (though not perfect yet), but she’s still just playing with her food for the most part. Sometimes some of the food makes it into her mouth, and today we had a bit of a breakthrough when her cousin Chelsea was over. Chelsea ate some of the cheerios on her tray, and Lily decided that she, also, wanted to eat some of the cheerios, so she fed herself. Woohoo! There was practically no feeding from us. It was all led by her.
  

  I’m really trying to keep my anxiety about meal times at bay. I don’t want her to associate meal times or food as a control issue to be had, so I want to just relax and let it go and let her do her thing. She’ll eat when she needs to, right? But sometimes, I just wish she’d eat MORE. Then I start thinking, “Wait a minute. I don’t eat a whole lot, and she’s a smaller baby too, so why am I expecting or wanting or hoping that she’d eat the same amount as other babies might? I certainly don’t eat the same amount as other adults do!” Not fair to our individual little firecracker to be compared to other babies.

  

  Having said that, I took her to her doc’s appointment for a check-up about two weeks ago. As of that time, she weighed 16 lbs 12 oz. Still in the 25th percentile. I described to our doc that sometimes Lily would get so upset that she’d vomit, and the doc is concerned that she may have acid reflux, which would explain why meal times have become so difficult, and why it has been giving her so much anxiety. More so than before. So we’re looking into that and seeing what we need to do if she indeed does have acid reflux.

• Our Lily loooves her books. We read to her constantly throughout the day, and of course she gets her scheduled, routine storytime reading before bed. She has “favorite” books that she likes us to read to her, and she knows how to “turn the page” when asked and knows how to “close the book” when we say “The End” at the end. It’s the cutest thing.
  
• Lily’s day is full of play, play, and more play. Recently, we found a long tube-like box that used to hold her play pen, and I emptied it all out and made it into a play-tube for her. She loooooves crawling through it. It’s the funnest thing in the world right now. Even Tink can’t help but join in from time to time!
  

In general, our little girl is a beautiful, healthy, happy (VERY HAPPY) little girl. We can’t be more pleased. We signed her up for a play-and-grow class at Gymboree. We go for about an hour or so every Saturday, where she gets to tumble around and climb and learn to walk and crawl and bounce in this giant baby-friendly room with her babies who are also learning to do the same things. She’s very interested in other babies. Reaches out to them, tries to talk to them, tries to follow them around (until she gets bored or gets distracted and does her own thing, of course).

And, of course, our Lily continues to love her bath every night before bed. I couldn’t help but take photos of the gratuitous rock star baby look too.

Mother’s Day was awesome. Dave took us out to one of our favorite (Thai) restaurants near home, and it was my first awesome possum Mother’s Day with the Lily Bean. She’s very loud in restaurants, but she loves it because she gets so much attention from everyone who turns to look at her and makes goo-goo ga-ga faces and sounds at her.